the diciple
by pip the bloody
Summary: the gang are given a holy quest from god her self and are set to a new companions home town. Carrying on from where THE TRIBUTE by tune of fun leaft off the gang yet again go out to save the world while the two new guys manly go out to slag off buffy.
1. Default Chapter

A/N

Legal Copyright to all things Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel (the Series) belongs to 20th Century Fox Film Productions (and by extension News Corporation), Warner Brothers Film Production, UPN, Kazui Enterprises, Sandollar, Lazy Dave Productions and Mutant Enemy. 

Legal Copyright to all things Dogma belongs to Film 4 Productions and View Askew.Kevin Smith (Silent Bob and owner of View Askew) as a baby girl to support, please go to [http://www.viewaskew.com][1] and show your appreciation for the wonderful movies he makes.

I make no profits from the writing of or display of this fanfic.

Please don't sue – I may not be able to afford it but I know my rights and I stick within them.

Moral copyright is extended to all original characters and concepts. To the uninitiated, this means you must first seek permission before you use anything that you read within this fanfic.

Have fun, enjoy the fic and please don't forget to Read and Review. Pip the Bloody.

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It was a quiet day; the sun was out and burning bright in the sky; the main street was silent.It was one of those days that every one loves… except, of course, Spike.He was in the back room of the magic box smoking a cigarette and watching the funniest thing on earth unfold before his eyes.That is, the funniest thing on earth bar stoned Muppets.Pip and Ben were attempting to teach Buffy how to fight like them.

" So what did you say you call this?"Buffy asked, a confused look on her face.

"The conchairto."Pip said patiently for the fourth time that minute.

Ben rolled his eyes and slouched over to the wall where he slumped by himself.

"Okay… I want to try!"Buffy said.

Buffy and Pip stood either side of a dummy; each with a steel chair in their hands. Pip lead by tapping his chair against the ground twice and Buffy followed, both of them swinging their chairs around to make contact in the middle.As the two chairs made contact a voice echoed from all around the room and a ball of fire appeared where the dummy had previously been.

"**_I am Metatron, Herald of the All Mighty and Voice of the one true_** –"

SMACK!!!!!! 

Whoever it was picked the time and place to just appear as to steel chairs collided with his head.He staggered backwards, clutching his head in a way that reminded Gina of the times when Spike hit a humans.

"That's a great way to say hello at least you didn't use a fire extinguisher." Metatron stated. 

"Who the fuck are you and why isn't your head half way to frelling LA?" Pip asked, amazed.

"Not another foul mouthed prick." Metatron said under his breath with a glance at the ceiling. "I'll try this again shall I? I am _Metatron_. Herald of the All Mighty and Voice of the one true God!"

"Okay… But what are you doing here?" Buffy asked. 

"Well if you must know. I'm here the charge all you with a quest." 

"A quest?" Giles asked in astonishment. 

"Well not all of you just one of you." Metatron said with a shrug.

Buffy rolled her eyes."So what do I have to do?" She asked.

"Nothing." Metatron snapped at her. "It's the tubby s.o.b. we need for this job." 

Ben's eyes bulged. "So you want me to save the world for a second time in as many weeks?" 

Buffy turned away slightly."Welcome to my world."She muttered.

"So what big nasty demon needs killing this time?" Xander asked. 

"Well you all remember the mistress don't you?"Metatron asked in a patronising tone of voice.

"Sorry. I always forget when some ungodly creature tries to kill me. Of cause we remember, it was only last week!" Pip snapped. "Spike, you got a fag I can pinch?" He asked. 

Spike pulled out a cigarette from his pack and held it out to the teen. Pip sat down next to Spike, taking the cigarette from him and lighting up. The two had become close – well not close – They had developed a repor over the past couple of days. Thanks mainly to Jack Daniels. _Lots_ of Jack Daniels. 

"Well the mistress had a disciple in hell and when lardy here," Metatron gestured to Ben. "Killed her he went mad and busted his way out of hell. The last time we saw him he was in a small town on the East Coast called Br–"

"**_Brookfield_**, Connecticut " Pip butted in. 

"Yes." Metatron admitted.

"How did you know that?" Asked Giles.

"Simple."Pip exhaled and ground the cigarette under his heel."Its sods fucking law. I'm off to find a bar." He stated, walking out. Spike looked around at the remaining group, sighed and followed Pip out.  
  
About three hours later Ben and Gina found Pip and spike. They were propping up the bar in the Bronze, drinking steadily in silence. Ben and Gina asked Spike what was wrong. 

"How should I bloody know?"The vampire snapped at them."The only thing he's said is 'Jack Daniels', 'more' and 'Stella'. Why he would want that stuff is beyond me." Spike downed the shot in front of him. 

Ben walked up to Pip and asked him instead. 

"Brookfield! Of all the shitty little towns in the world that thing picked Brookfield!" Pip spat before sinking deeper into his drink. 

Ben thought for a second and then it dawned on him.

"Can't believe I didn't see it!" Ben said, slapping his head. 

"See what?" Gina was confused.

"Pip used to live in the states. In a town called _Brookfield_." Ben explained to Gina with a significant look.  
  
Just at that moment a handful of vampires burst into the Bronze. Spike downed his drink, cracked his knuckles and stepped towards the unwelcome newcomers.

Pip's hand slapped down onto his arm. 

"I'll get this round. You sit down and wait." Pip told him before walking up to one of the vampires with his hands behind his back. "Hay wanker!" He called.

The vampire lunged at Pip. He pulled a bottle of vodka from behind him, smashed it over the vampire's face and flicked his cigarette onto him. The vampire burst into flames then disappeared. Pip was feeling a definite rush of adrenalin as he jumped onto a table and prepared to launch himself at another vampire. 

"Shouldn't we help him?" Gina asked the guys.Which was of course girl-code for 'Go help him.'

"After I finish my cig." Spike announced.

Pip launched off the table and knocked the vampire over. A third vampire grabbed him from behind. 

"Okay, now we help him." Spike handed his cigarette to Gina as he and Ben went to Pips aid. Needless to say the fight didn't last much longer.

Pip, Ben and Spike reclaimed their seats at the bar. "Hey bartender! Four Jacks." Pip called down the bar.

"Where is he?" Spike asked Gina as he also reclaimed his cigarette.

"He's gone." Ben said, looking around at the remaining people.

"He's scarpered." Spike said, leaning over to check the bar area for a dead body.

"He's fucked off!" Pip said, reaching over the bar and grabbing a bottle of Jack Daniels and four glasses.

Gina hit him."Pip!"We're trying to keep this down to a 12!"

"Since when?"Asked Spike.

"Gina, the operative word in the statement is 'trying'."Pip said with a smirk. " Well, we're in luck." 

"How's that?" Gina asked Pip. "Between you, Ben and Spikey we're already up to a 15!"

"It's Spike!"Spike growled at Gina as Pip spoke.

"_No_. It's homecoming next week! Lets get out of here." Pip said, taking a large swig from the bottle of Jack Daniels and staggering toward the exit. He fell flat on his face. "A little help here?"

   [1]: http://www.viewaskew.com/



	2. old friends

The morning came and the gang whet to the train station, all dressed in black spike was in a coffin they clamed he was there dead uncle who wanted to buried in Brookfield. They all got on the train and set off to Brookfield. 

" Pip did u get hold of your friends to let them know we were coming?" Jiles asked.

" yeah there goanna meant us in Danbury." 

"Danbury where supports to be going to crookfield." Buffy stated. 

"It Brookfield and the there's no train station there Danbury the nearest station its only 5 miles from Brookfield." 

"O" Buffy tried to seam less stupid but failed. 

"Could SOME ONE PLEASE LET ME OUT OF HERE!!" spike yelled. 

Ben Gina and Buffy opened the coffins lid

" thank you." Spike had a frustrated tone in his voice. But then again after being in a coffin for 5 hours wouldn't u? 

It was two days later by the time they got to Danbury.  
  
They where greeted by about 12 people. Pip started talking to his old friends until one of them asked what was going on. Pip tried to explain but failed so it came to Jiles to explain. 

He took his glasses pinched the bridge of his nose and told them every thing that hade happened in the last few years

"Holy shit!!!" was the only thing pips friends where able to say. "Ok guys look u don't have to help us I wont think any less of you if you wont to get as far away from here as u can. In fact I wont u to." Pip told his friends what they needed to hear. "So let me get this shit right we run u stay save the fucking day and get all the pussy." "know that's Andy morhouse." Pip stated "your danm right I lettin u stay and get all the glory." Mat made it clear he was up for the fight. "I hear that." jay stepped forward. Jay was pips best friend in the states jays older bro Jeff stepped forward

"ok guys thanks for doing this" Pip thanked his friends. After a few good byes and hugs the group of people were gone. 

Pip introduced his friends Jay, Andy and Jeff to the gang.

"Sod the Scooby gang it getting more like a bloody army" spike stated.

" Scooby gang? Fuck that shit where the fucking Chevy squad " jay said producing a imitation police badge with a Chevy bowtie in the centre Andy and Jeff did the same. "Where did u get those a box of cracker jacks?" Xander said in an attempt to be funny turning to pip to see he had one as well. 

"So were are the cars guys?" pip asked"follow use" pips friends showed them around a corner where there where three customised Chevrolets two where Camaros and the other a mini van.

"Pip stay there I've got a surprise for you" Jay said running around a corner. A minuet later the noise of an engine starting rang out. 

"Where is she?" pip said with a look in his eyes that u only see on a small child on Christmas morning. He looked to Andy and Jeff they just smiled. The rest of the gang just looked bewildered.

Jay pulled up in yet another Camaro this one was black with deep purple flames 

Just visible in the street light "Gillian " pip cried out loud. "It a car pip" Buffy said with a tone of disgust in her voice. 

"Its not just a car! It's a 1986 Chevrolet IROC Z28 CAMARO with a three fifty Chevy small bloke V8 engine, full digital dash custom paint job and ground affects done by your truly and a full alpine stereo and speaker system. I built her from scratch." Pip snapped at Buffy.

"Does it talk?" Gina quipped. 

"Ha ha ha funny very amusing. But lets get on the road." With that pip turned opened the car door let Gina and spike in and peeled out of the parking lot.


	3. the first incounter

About eighteen minuets later they pulled up into a driveway of a house with no lights and the garden looked like it hadn't been touched for at least a year.

"What are we doing here?" Spike asked.

"This is where were staying" pip answered as they got out the car the others pulled into the drive way 

Pip walked up to the front door "uum how are going to get in side " Giles asked.

"Simple" pip reached above the door frame and pulled out a key and opened the door

"How did u know that was there?" Giles queered.

"I put it there two years ago" pip said with a smug look on his face.

Pip walked into the house it had been empty since he had left it.

He flicked a switch he had high hopes that it would work but hey couldn't hurt he thought to him self. Willow could u do some thing with the lights.

He turned around and looked at willow her eyes were jet black and light some sort of dust gaverd and swirled around her she called to some god the name went straight few pip and flash of light there was just that the power was back on in the house that had been empty since pip left. "What the fuck was that?" Andy asked in amazement. 

"Just a simple little spell willow replied. "Spell?" Andy was bewildered by this new discovery. "O yeah I forgot to say willows a witch." Pip said with a slight chuckle as he spoke. "You're a witch? Andy's head was racing. "Yup just call my Sabrina " willow said with her little nervous smile. 

"Right I think we need to plan what are first move is" Giles stated to the group of twenty something's.

"Well let's go by what all the other big bad guys have done." Xander said.

"What's that?" Jeff asked 

"Well over run the local night life with blood sucking vampires." He explained.

Pip turned to his friends shared a quick stare turned round and said in one-voice "busters."

"I'm sorry I don't quit understand" Giles was trying to figure out who or what busters was.

"It's a pool house where we and most everyone else hang out." Jeff explained to the confused English man. They turned to walk out and when they got to the door way spike was waiting for them out side "don't worry about me guys I just freeze my bollocks off shall I?" He snapped. "Sorry spike you are welcome in ok." Pip offered the invite.

After a brief car journey the gang arrived outside Busters. "So what do we do now?" Giles asked." we play a couple of games." pip answered. He pulled out a black case from the boot of the car. As did Jay, Jeff and Andy. They walked in and got a table. Pip open the case to revelled a purple pool with Excalibur in silver writing on it yet again his friends did the same." Do you guys buy in bulk of some thing?" Buffy said trying to be funny. She just got a cold hard look for her attempt.     

They played for about half a hour and exchanged banter and story's until Xander looked up towards the door and saw some thing that looked all to familiar, a figure dressed in all black robes with two vampires ever side. The figure raised its hand and the two vampires leaf it side and started attacking people.

"Guys I think we got trouble." Xander said with just a bit of fear in his voice.

"Good I got tired of losing." Buffy sniped. Being the slayer really did give her a hang up about being beaten at even the most tedious things.       

"Right lets have some fun." Pip was up for a fight he wanted to look good for his friends.

He grabbed one of the house cues for a weapon. Buffy, Spike, Ben and Pip lunged towards the vampires. The two vampires where not fazed by the on coming attackers.

 Pip and Ben took on one and Buffy and Spike the other. Pip swung at the vampire with his pool cue the vampire didn't even stagger when pip hit him with the cue. He hit pip across the room and turned his attention to Ben, who hit the vampire several times with little affected.

"Ben catch " pip called to Ben throwing him a steel chair. 

As the chair flew throw the air it was intercepted by the vampire, pip was close behind the chair his plan was to give the vampire his and Ben's trademark finisher the conchairto. "Bollocks!!"  As this didn't work pip had to think of something else to do. As he ran towards the vampire he looked at Ben who was on his hands and knees in front of pips target, pip took full advantage of his friends position and used him as a spring bored and kicked the chair in the vampires face he fell back in to a stake welded by Buffy who had long since finished her fight and was watching Ben and Pip's attempted at slaying. The group turned to the figurer in black robes the figure raised his arm throw some thing to the ground and vanished in a puff of smoke.

"Is everyone alright?" Buffy was going throw her now tedious after fight ritual.

 "Where quit alright Buffy" Giles answered for the group 

 Buffy turned to Pip "what the hell do u think your doing this isn't a wrestling ring those stunts wont always work and will get u killed" Buffy was pissed off with Pip and Ben

 "Well forgive me for not going by your holy unwritten rules to slaying heaven forbid some one slay a vampire in the wrong way." Pip had had enough of Buffy and her superior attitude to him and bens way of fighting.

 "Look some of us don't have supernatural strength to fight these thing we have to do the best with what we know and guess what all Pip and Ben know is wrestling SO LAY OFF already." Gina let Buffy have a rather large peace of he mind.

"Can I ask something? I know I'm new to this but shouldn't we kinda be looking for that dude in the robs?" Jay was sticking his neck out hoping that some one would agree with him thankfully he was backed up by Giles.

" He's quite right we should be looking for the demon and not fighting with each other."

Giles took off his glasses and took a handkerchief from his pocket and cleaned the lenses 

"Ok let go find it and kill it. It couldn't of got far." Andy said will he was headed for the door. "What!" Giles shouted after the young impetuses man.  "You don't go running in after a demon like that with out a plan."  "So watcher man what's the plan?" jay asked 


End file.
